We Have a Loft

By Dick

Life in Tennessee is certainly different than it was in California. This past weekend’s experiences demonstrate one more time just how different it is.

Katrina and I both worked in office buildings with elevators in California. That can be a thrill in “Shaky Town”. When you live where the earth moves on a regular basis, living or working in a multi-level building can be a moving experience. Stepping into an elevator is a true demonstration of fearlessness. If you have ever “rode” through a good sized earthquake on anything over a single story building you won’t forget it.

Back to the point, when you are in the lobby of a building trying to catch an elevator and the doors start to close what do you do? You yell, “Hey Elevator”! Some kind sole either sticks his hand out to stop the door or some not so kind sole starts hitting the “close the door” button. Most often in CA it is the close the door button alternative.

Guess what? Katrina and I are moving up in the World. We are now the proud owners of an ELEVATOR! Yes, you too can own your own personal elevator. Sound impressive? Of course it does if you are a City Slicker; but to us country folks it’s no big deal.

You see, it is less of an elevator and more of an escalator. Still cool, right? How many folks do you know that own an escalator? Oh, one other thing you can’t really ride it either. You see, this elevator is a hay elevator. You use it to put hay into the second story barn hay loft. Another cool thing about TN, even the barns have LOFTS! You urban dwellers think it is cool to have a loft downtown near the action. You should try a loft in the barn, at night when the bats start to fly, the mice start to scramble and the farm cats start to prowl, now that is some action.

This weekend Katrina and I began preparing for the changing seasons by storing away hay for winter feed for the animals. I threw hay bales for part-time work at minimum wage when I was in high school and it was probably the best motivator ever for getting a college education. I swore I would never, ever do that again. Now, nearing retirement, here I am doing it again. Is this what they mean by life’s full circle?

The whole point of this entire blog is simply to tell you when you yell “Hay Elevator” in TN it means the tractor and trailer just pulled up and it’s time to put the hay in the loft!

Technorati Tags: barn, earthquake, elevator, escalator, hay elevator, hay loft, hey elevator, shaky town, urban loft

First Baby Born

By Dick

 WOW, that is all I can say. A new birth is always a magical moment. I don’t care if it is your first child, your first grandchild or your first litter of cats; giving birth makes a beautiful day. If your car didn’t start, if your boss yelled at you, if your family is feuding, if your shoes hurt, it doesn’t matter; the slate is clean when the new baby comes.

Today a new baby arrived at Legendary Farms. We knew Jetta was expecting any day and we made all the necessary preparations but didn’t think it would happen for another week or so.

As I walked out to the barn this morning to do my chores I spotted a new face. A beautiful little black Jack was galloping in the birthing area. As I got closer my excitement erupted and I shouted out. I was afraid I might scare the new little one with all my joy but to my surprise mommy and baby came running up to me!

As I entered the area, proud mommy Jetta, came up to show off her new baby. She was so happy and excited she threw herself against me and rubbed her head on my shoulder. It was just like a human child giving her father a hug when seeing his new grandchild for the first time! The baby was perfect and not a scared thought in its beautiful little head.

Just like any proud grandparent we will be posting new photos of the offspring on a regular basis and of course keep you up to date on this special little boy. He is the first of our herd to be born on the property. He is special to us and we are very proud of him.

The pictures you see here were taken just a few hours after her birth. He has no name yet but we will let you know as soon as he has one.

CLICK HERE TO SEE VIDEO: miniature-donkey-and-baby

Technorati Tags: baby donkey, first born, miniature donkey

Olympic Gold? Barn Skiing?

By: Dick

Could Shawn Johnson be Barn Skiing in the next Olympics?

As this is being written, the Olympics are winding down and we all know Michael Phelps won 8 Gold Metals. It is a real accomplishment to say the least. However, has he ever been Barn Skiing? Have you?

You are probably asking yourself, “What is Barn Skiing?”

I humbly have to admit it is a sport I invented; by accident and will hopefully never participate in again. In fact if I do it again, it will have to be an accident. It will take a very special person to carry this sport forward. In fact, it may take several shots of tequila to get anyone to attempt it.

Let me set the stage. It was a little over a year ago and our mule, Dixie, was just about six months old. Katrina and I were trying to halter break her. I had hold of the lead, we were in the barn and Dixie decided she didn’t like the halter, the lead, or being in the barn and at that very moment she wasn’t real happy with me either. I decided Dixie was not going to get the best of me. Dixie decided I wasn’t going to get the best of her and she won. She bolted for the other end of the barn, I dug in my heals and held on tight.

Now, I have flat feet, I mean really flat feet. If I had webbed toes I could be a duck. The floor of the barn is covered with a combination of fine gravel, straw and sawdust; I was not going to win this one. I was a goner. Dixie took off at a gallop, I held on; my feet were skimming across the floor like water skis on a calm lake. The barn is approximately 75 feet long and in that distance I invented barn skiing, set the worlds record for speed in the event (unofficial no time slip) and promised Katrina I would never do that again. Next time I will let go of the lead.

However, as I watched the Olympics this year I couldn’t help but think that such an event would make for excellent TV. Just imagine strong beautiful men and women being pulled behind gorgeous mules and horses, dust flying and the crowd roaring as they cross the finish line. There could be barn sprints, pasture marathons and even side by side competitions just like swimming. Of course we would have to start with some amateur events and then petition the Olympic Committee for recognition but what the heck this is America.

Any volunteers? I’ll coach.

Technorati Tags: barn skiing, gold medals, mule, olympics

DOLLY 

By: Dick

When we left California right after January 1st we looked a little like a modern day Noah and his diesel burning 36 foot arc on wheels. We were in our motor home with cages of numerous doves, three dogs, two cats and a lot of Tylenol! It’s a 2,000 mile journey with natural enemies next to each other. The cats were in cat carriers staring through the openings at doves in bird cages. The dogs were in dog crates next to the cats. All we needed were a few monkeys swinging from the curtains! Since it was January there wasn’t much talk about taking long walks.

We surprised everyone and arrived in Tennessee without incident. Since then our animal family quickly began to grow. First there was Dolly. The best dog we have ever owned. She was running wild in the neighborhood, the result of some one’s decision to abandon a wonderful animal. She was left to fend for herself and beg or catch food as she could.

Although hesitant at first, we soon took her in and it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. She is smart, loyal and extremely loving and appreciative. She is an unbelievable watch dog.

She knows where we sleep in the house and what window to bark at when all is not right in her world. At night when there is a stranger within 100 yards of the property she comes up to our window while we are sleeping and wants us to come check things out. At these times she uses an entirely different bark and when she uses it we jump.

She has woken Katrina and I up more than once in the middle of the night to alert us to a car that has went off the road in front of the house or if someone or something is too near our property. We will tell you more about Dolly and her warnings another day.

There are more animals for you to get to know and they will be introduced one by one over the next few weeks. There are goats, more dogs, a mule, horses and of course a herd of miniature donkeys. That does not include the wild animals that hang out on the property such as the wild turkey, rabbits, squirrels, ground hogs, possums, snakes, frogs, lizards and I don’t know what all else.

We have a small cemetery on our property and the photo of Dolly was taken on one of her hunting trips through the stones and trees right after we moved in.

Technorati Tags: animals, cats, dog, dogs, doves, watch dog

Brit

By: Dick

We just said good-bye to the first member of our animal family, who has now joined someone else’s family. For the first two and one half years we have been collecting animals on a regular basis. Now it is time to sell a few. This was a difficult decision. Brit is an absolutely gorgeous Tennessee Walking horse. He stands 16 hands tall; that is really tall for a Walking Horse.

He was living on our ranch when we bought the property and we purchased him from the seller. The seller was moving to a sub-diivsion and could not keep him. When we first got Brit he was under weight and not very happy. He was snorting and starving for attention, but very intimidating. Katrina is the horse rider in the family. I like the horses but when you are on top of a 16 hand animal, that is a long ways to fall. Brit always acted very tough and tried to show us that he was the boss.

That all changed one day; Brit really liked me and I liked him. However, one day I learned what a sissy he really was. I was out in the pasture and he was near the barn. As I walked through the tall grass I scared up a Wild Turkey. Don’t believe what you hear about Turkeys not being able to fly. They may not fly to the islands for the winter but those big birds do fly! This big sucker would have made any Thanksgiving table proud! He was big and loud.

As he took off over my head he was gobbling for all he was worth. After passing over me a foot above my head he flew for Brit. The big feathered monster was making a racket and passed right over Brit and scared him to death. He was too scared to move or snort. He simply looked at me with wide open big dark eyes and you could see the fear in the eyes. His face was very expressive; I swear he was saying “Daddy, Daddy help me! The big bad bird is going to get me!”

I called out his name and went up to him and gave Brit a big hug around the neck. We were best of buddies from then on. He would do almost anything for me. If someone was riding him and I was around, he would walk over to the fence for me to tell him how pretty he was and what a good boy he was.

He went to an excellent home and will be well taken care of, but I do miss the big galoot.

Technorati Tags: brit, horse, tennessee walking horse, wild turkey

In this picture Lucile looks so inocent, that is how she kills so many rolls of toilet paper, they never saw her coming!

You have been introduced to a mule and now it’s time for a cat. 

Lucile is one of our two cats. Katrina went to the pound and fell in love with a cat. She called and asked if it was ok to bring the little boy cat home. Of course I said wait, I want to see what this animal looks like. My plan was if I give her time to think about it and she thinks I am coming over to give her a hard time she will just go home and forget all about it. Well, I showed up and I fell in love with a little girl cat.

That is how we left the pound with two cats instead of one. Linus the boy was to be hers and Lucy, the girl was to be mine. Surprise, the cats had different ideas. Long story short, Linus (the boy) is my cat and Lucy is now Lucille (the girl) and is Katrina’s cat.

Linus is a little lazy and a lot fat. His story at another time.

I have to admit that Lucille is the most remarkable animal. She has very expressionistic eyes. You can always tell what she is thinking. She also chirps and never meows. She has a vocabulary of 6 or 7 chirps all of which mean something. We understand her and I swear she understands 90% of what we say. However, when she wants to she ignores 90% of what she understands.

Unfortunately, she also thinks she works for Hitler, elite SS troops. She likes to corner dogs and make them weep; every night when the lights go out she hisses and swats at Linus. I have told Katrina more than once I was going to get her a little helmet with a spike on top to wear, sometimes she even goose steps down the hall!

One of her favorite things to do is attack the toilet paper. She sneaks up on a roll of TP on the roller; jumps the unsuspecting tissue and commences to apply rapid fire claws. This causes the TP to spin wildly and unroll at never intended speed. Within seconds there is a pile of shredded TP on the floor below. When her chore is done she turns and runs as quickly as she can.

One morning this week I left my office upstairs and went down to the guest bathroom in the hallway. As soon as I opened the door I saw the savage remnants of Lucille’s attack on an unsuspecting role of TP. I moaned and quickly decided this was a mess for Katrina to clean up, after all Lucille is her cat.

When I came out of the bathroom there was Lucille standing behind a large white pillar in the dining room. All you could see was her little head and her two huge eyeballs looking right at me. Her face was saying, “Did you see what I killed?” She thought she was in trouble but she had to check to make sure. When I yelled, “Lucille” she took off like a bullet and I never saw her the rest of the day. That’s not quite true; as soon as Katrina got home she came out because she knew I wouldn’t kill her in front of Katrina.

Technorati Tags: Add new tag, cat, cats

Show Time!

By Dick

This is “Sweety”! 

Katina’s donkey, Sweety was entered in the third class. Thank goodness someone was going before me! There were two donkeys in her class, so we knew she couldn’t do worse than second. The rain stopped and the sun came out, it was hot.

She bravely strolled off into the ring with Sweety. Sweetie is a very pretty donkey and has an excellent body, but the first time she had a halter on was two weeks before the show. She had never been shown before and tends to be a little reluctant to new experiences.

The judge had each participant do what they needed to do, scrutinized the animals and made her decision. Sweety won! Oh, my, God! First time in the ring for either of them and they won.

When we were loading the trailer to leave for the show, Sweety was such a handful I told Katrina to leave her home! When they came out of the ring I apologized to Katina. This experience reaffirmed my knowledge that this redhead is more stubborn than any donkey. She stuck to it and got Sweety to perform for her. The competition was strong. I am not just saying that, her competition had a beautiful animal that had previously been in the show ring numerous times and never finished worse than third.

Before we left for the Fairgrounds our idea of a successful day was to have all five of the donkeys go into the ring and walk down past the judge and not embarrass us. A blue ribbon against stiff competition was just “icing on the cake”.

Next up was Katrina again. It was a much bigger class and she was showing her favorite little jack, nine month old Neerie. He is full of spunk and is all personality but is going through an ugly growth stage where nothing looks quite right. They all do this, but she loves the little guy so much he had to come to the show. He got a fourth place. Not bad but someday, he will be a Champion.

Now it was time for the big event. All three of us were going into the same class at the same time. It was the biggest class of the day. Again, my goal was to get through the event without being embarrassed.

We watched as some ehibitor’s animals froze before they got to the judge, we saw others perform beautifully. Kandi went first. She was showing Precious who is stunning but just recently developed a case of shyness. She was refusing to walk earlier but Kandi got her to do her stuff with the exception of the trot.

“Prescious”, her name says it all!

Next, I was going in. I grabbed the lead with a strong hand and said Kool Kue, your up, let’s go. On the Thursday night before the show I decided to show Kool. The Monday before, was the first time she had ever had a halter on. The first time I ever tried to get her to stand for judging was on Friday, the night before the show and I failed. She never stood still.

She walked, she trotted and she did good.

“Kool” was my girl of the day. 

Behind me was Katrina with Silky, a beautiful spotted, I refused to take into the ring because she would not walk for me. I watched as they came in and Silky did much better than I expected. Katrina had never practiced with Silky so the twosome did quite well.

“Silky” is a beautiful spotted.

As the judge was going down the line of 10 miniature donkeys, Katrina kept whispering to me to hold Kool’s head up and get her ears up. I said are you kidding? She is standing still and all four legs are on the ground. I have never seen her do this before. I am not about to set her off dancing again just tying to get her head and ears up!

The judge is done, the awards are being presented and I got second place! Sorry, I got carried away; Kool got second place I just stood beside her. Unfortunately, neither Precious or Silky placed. I think their behavior made the difference, they’ll both have their day.

We went to this event expecting it to be a fun show. It was a fun show, but we learned we need to get our game face on for future shows. We also learned that our animals can surprise us and make up for our short comings.

Now, before the next “fun show” we need to get some halters with silver and diamonds, some fancy gloves, new designer jackets and a pedicure for the miniatures. Look out we got our game faces on now!

Technorati Tags: miniature donkey, miniature donkey show, Miniature Donkeys

Bedford County Fair Miniature Donkey Show

By Dick

In our previous post you read about the trouble we had loading the miniatures, well now we are at the show and have to unload the little ones. All and all it was about the same effort only in reverse. For those of you who live in the north, it was again like Kindergarten when you went out to play in the winter and the teacher had to help 30 spoiled little brats put on overcoats and boots for recess. Recess was over before the last kid was outfitted for fun. I was afraid the show would be over before we got all of the little ones out of the trailer and cleaned up!

 After the appropriate amount of chit chat with the other competitors and looking over their striking animals it was time to clean our asses. Anyone got a fire hose? Remember this is a fun show and our competition were grooming like it was Miss Ameirca.

We were the only ones at the show who took the term “fun show” seriously. Everyone else was out for blood; they had show halters, they had fancy leads, and some were dressed like it was the Nationals. We were in blue jeans, had regular halters and leads and our spotted donkeys had a few extra spots courtesy of our pasture.

Katrina and I felt a little like Ma and Pa Kettle taking their Donkey to the State Fair!

Well, we did the best we could and wiped down the animals with a wet cloth and did some last minute walking (mostly dragging) the animals and trying to get them ready for the ring. Katrina has shown dogs for years, judges at the dog shows and showed in barrell racing as a kid. However, I have never shown a miniature donkey before and tried to watch the others and hoped to learn something. 

As the first classes began to show it began to rain; it is an outdoor show. We did not bring rain gear and our asses were getting wet! Oh, and the donkeys were getting wet also.

 Next time, the show.

Technorati Tags: ma and pa kettle, miniature donkey show, Miniature Donkeys

GOING TO OUR FIRST MINIATURE DONKEY SHOW

By Dick

We did it! We went to our first Miniature Donkey Show as participants. It was the Bedford County Fair Show. We chose it because it is not a big show and considered a “fun show”; a show for beginners. It is a day that will go down in the memory banks. I will not attempt to tell you everything in one day but you will get the full story over the next week.

Let’s begin with how it all started. Once upon a time there were three eager Donkey owners who wanted to show their asses but were shy and inexperienced so they choose a small out of the way fair in Tennessee as their virgin attempt at success. Miniature Donkey shows include different kinds of classes for showing off your ass depending on how old it is and other classes for performance including pulling a cart or a log and jumping your ass and other equally entertaining speed events.

We were told that because it was just a fun show we could wear short sleeve shirts (the temperature was in the mid 90’s as was the humidity). We were also told we need not use show halters or other more formal attire for us or our animals. This was good news since we own none of it. However, we did have the required cowboy hats and boots so we were good to go.

We decided that Katrina, my daughter Kandi and I would all show at least one miniature donkey. Remember not one of us had ever been in a miniature donkey show ring in our lives. Although Katrina has showed dogs, she has never shown her ass before.

In addition, we thought since none of the donkeys had ever been shown, as many as possible needed the social experience of going to a show and meeting strangers. The result, we would take five donkeys to the show. No big deal, just wash them up, give them a clip and teach them to walk on a halter, stand solid for the judge, trot on command and put the ears up etc. Since the animals have only been on the property a little over a month we had to get busy.

A week before the show we still had not decided who would be going and only one or two of them could be considered halter broke and none of them had ever been inside our trailer.

The two days before the show we were running around like we were getting ready for the first day of Kindergarten. You know what it is like, the kids didn’t know what was going on and the parents were scared of all the horrible things that could happen. By Saturday morning we were all calmly raging at each other.

The first thing was to get the little creatures into the horse trailer for transportation to the Fairgrounds. Remember these animals have never been in our trailer and most of them have never had a halter on until one or two weeks ago! The game plan was walk them to the trailer and let them jump in. WRONG! Leading them to the trailer was a chore, getting them to jump in, forget it.

Change of plans, I got into the trailer, pulled on the lead, Katrina lifted the front legs and Kandi pushed from behind; once the front legs were securely inside Katrina lifted the rear legs. SLAM THE DOOR, SHE’S IN! Oops, so am I. Ok, now I had to tie the donkey up inside and ask to be let out of the trailer. We repeated this five times!

But wait, there’s more. You can’t travel with the little ones tied up in the trailer. They are too small and need to be free to move about. So one more trip back into the two horse trailer containing five little donkeys and remove all the leads and then escape without letting one of them out. You should also know that five scared little donkeys poo a lot! I made it, just had to clean my boots.

Then we were off.

In our next post we will tell you about arriving at the Fairgrounds and getting ready for the show. Oh, and at the show; you have to hear what happed there!

Technorati Tags: Add new tag, bedford county fair, miniature donkey show, Miniature Donkeys

Katrina climbs the fence; Call 911!

By: Dick

Katrina is obviously a Tom Boy but there are times when her feminine side shines bright. I am certainly prejudiced but I think she is one of the most beautiful and sexy women I have ever met but she can get down and dig a ditch or get greasy working on a car, no problem.

You probably read the previous post about our recent adventure with Dixie and how serious it could have been. At the time I was playing with my cars and moving one from the garage to the shop to work on it and noticed Dixie was in the neighbor’s pasture. I wasn’t concerned at the time just ticked off she jumped the fence. She was happily grazing on their tall lush grass. I assumed it was another case of the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and she simply bounded over an obstacle to get some food. Since Dixie is Katrina’s true love it was up to her to retrieve the mule. She thought the entire episode was very funny and couldn’t stop giggling. I on the other had, was very upset thinking this damn animal is going to jump that fence every time she doesn’t get what she wants to eat.

Well, Katrina stopped laughing long enough to start after Dixie. The first challenge was the fence. Now Katrina may be a Tom Boy but she has a long way to go to be a farm girl. The fence along our property line is the typical cattle fence with a strand of barb wire at the top. Most of the posts are steel with the appropriate number of wood posts along the way at corners and other locations to add strength.

As I sat at the picnic table drinking a Gatorade I saw my city wife try to cross the fence knowing that this was going to be a learning experience and possibly a trip to the hospital. First she looked the fence over carefully to decide how best to tackle the task. The obvious first step would be to place a foot in one of the fence squares and swing the other leg over the fence, put that foot in a fence square, swing the other leg over and step down. Not good for the fence but it works.

Well, Katrina thought it best to go to a wood fence post and put a foot into a square and step up. So far so good much like I described but even better because the fence is stronger at the wood post. That’s when everything went city and girly on her. She became very frightened of the barbed wire and thought she should stand on top of the fence post! She climbed up the fence and then proceeded to balance on top of the post like some amateur poser of the Karate Kid getting ready to strike.

It was at this time I decided I might as well call 911 because we were going to need an ambulance to put her back together and remove the barbed wire from around her butt.

As usually happens, I was wrong and gravely underestimated my lovely wife, she proceeded to jump off the post and go on to save her Dixie.

Oh, there is a footnote to this story. She came to me later that night and said she had a pulled a muscle in her groin and couldn’t figure out how she did it. I reminded her of her acrobatic crossing of the fence and she just smiled and quietly walked away and never mentioned it again.

Technorati Tags: fence, horse, karate, katrina, mule